An excerpt from the book I'm reading, by Elisabeth Elliot :)

Not one to refuse even unnecessary risks, Amy was more than ready to take risks for the sake of others. She had certainly been sheltered, and she knew it. The shawlies were not sheltered. What sort of life did they lead? she wondered. Her brother, Ernest, working for the railways, knew things she didn't  know.  She pressed him for information as to the sort of conversation the shawlies must hear. He wasn't sure she ought to know, but Amy would not be put off. He told her a few things. She intensified her prayers that the girls would grow up pure and good.

This zealous work with young people went on for more than a year. Amy poured herself into it, but felt that she was not really building as she had determined to build, in gold, silver and precious stones.  Something told her all this activity might amount to nothings more than a heap of wood, hay, and stubble unless she began living a holy life, a life that would help others. She was full of misgivings. The list of her activities must surely have seemed an impressive one to those who looked on, but to the girl herself they were nothing. They were empty. Nobody was truly being helped as she believed they should be. What had she missed? How could she live the life she longed for? How to be holy? Was there any hope of it for her?

I am so thankful for trouble in my life because it humbles me and draws me near to Christ! ...problems at work, problems at school, issues in the family,  in my heart...

I am more than thankful for the Gospel: Jesus Christ died for me. He loved me when I didn´t loved Him. He saved me and continues saving me from myself. I no longer have to worry about future, my failures... His grace is enough! It´s all and everything I need every day. Sometimes it feels like I cannot continue on, but He who´s called me is Faithful, and in His calling and faithfulness I trust. He works in mysterious ways I cannot understand, but I am sure it´s His plan to bring glory to Himself even through my own weaknesses. For when I am weak, He´s strong. Piper´s meditation on prayer in his book Desiring God has been so timely. I will quote some of what I´ve read so far:

"[John 14:13] shows that prayer is the pursuit of God's glory. [John 16:24] shows that prayer is the pursuit of joy... The unity of these two goals...is clearly preserved in the act of prayer."

"According to John 15:5, God intends for us to do something good-- namely, bear fruit. So as our strong and reliable friend --"I have called you friends" (John 15:15)-- He promises to do for us what we can't do for ourselves...We pray! We ask God to do for us through Christ what we can't do for ourselves--bear fruit."

I was raised in a christian home, church and school. Always heard that prayer is "talking to God", which is a nice, easy-to-remember definition of it. Nevertheless that's just part of the truth. Piper's definition of prayer is biblical, is eye-opening, brand-new, refreshing . I promise it blows my mind...It even invites me to pray!

"Prayer is the open admission that without Christ we can do nothing. And the prayer is the turning away from ourselves to God in the confidence that He will provide the help we need. Prayer humbles us as needy and exalts God as wealthy"

And then he affirms:

"There is a correlation between not knowing Jesus well and not asking much from Him."

Now listen to this...

"A failure in prayer life is generally a failure to know Jesus. 'If you knew who was talking to you, you would ask Me!' "

Woha! *stunned face*

Yesterday was a glorious day for our church, or at least it felt that way for me. For the first time, I understood what we are doing in the Kingdom and some more of the work prepared for me to do in His kingdom. The vision of what the Lord IS doing in our midst, and what He has in store for us is grand. It´s exciting, breath-taking, and overwhelming. Overwhelming because we can´t do anything in our own strength. That is a lesson that the Builder is making me learn. Yet again, I appeal to His grace and to His faithfulness to get us through. It seems that these days I am being reminded (through sermons and fellowship with brethren and His providence) that it´s not about me, but about Him! Dear Jesus, we love you because you loved us first. Thank you for letting us become part of your Kingdom. Give us a kingdom mindset.

Now that I come to think about this... didn't I ask the Lord at the beginning of this year to make me a woman of prayer? So maybe He IS answering that prayer after all...